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Believe In Your Child’s Future

Believe in your child's futureFor a family who is just starting to learning about the Autism Spectrum Disorder or Sensory Processing Disorder, we can feel all the dream’s we have for our child has disappeared.  I urge all parent’s to believe in your child’s future.

When we became pregnant it is extremely natural to dream about what our child might achieve in their future.  When we hold them for the first times we also have dreams of their future.  However, for families after their child has received a diagnosis of Autism or Sensory Processing all of these dreams can be shattered.

However all is not lost! Believe in your child’s future.  You have taken the most important step of getting them help.  You will enrol your child in therapies to help strengthen them.  All of these little steps……….all the ups and downs that will occur….they all lead to bigger things.  Those dreams that we originally had for our children might have never occurred either without the diagnosis.  However it you truly believe in your child and really work on their strengths they can achieve anything in life.

We need to believe in your child’s future!

Mum and Dad I am Not Autistic!

I am not autistic……………………………………………I have autism.  However there is so much more to me than having autism.  I believe that when people say “my child is autistic” it gives off the notion that everything about them is autistic characteristics.

However if you really want to connect with your child, the most important part is for you to realise that label does not describe your child.  See it as a means for your child to get help.  You fell in love with your child when you became pregnant and at that stage there was no label.  Your child at that stage was a human being starting to develop a body, arms, legs, eyes, nose and mouth.  When they entered the world they didn’t have a diagnosis so you loved them for who they were.

What is more important is that they still are the same child.  I remember when my eldest daughter was diagnosed, the child care centre said to me (they had been looking after her for two years prior) that they couldn’t look after her anymore.  I was astounded and simply said that she is the same child from the previous day.  We as parents need to remember all the different aspects about our child. Autism does not define them.

 

 

Can I Make a Bargain With You?

How many times have you said to yourself “I would do anything for me to have autism and not my child. Why can’t it be me?”  I know I have said it numerous times especially at the start.  This is usually the bargain grief stage is the next stage after anger for parents when dealing with the grief cycle.

Several themes emerge as parents travel the road to acceptance.  Initially they struggle with the symptoms of autism.  Time stops as parents initially become very upset with their child’s difficulties and then they begin the protected journey of putting together the appropriate interventions.

However, at this stage parents hope for a way out, find a cure.  They tend to bargain with high powers to take the diagnosis away from the child in place on inflicting pain on themselves.

If you are stuck in the bargaining part of the grief cycle or simply want to talk to someone who understand, please do not hesitate to contact me on Rebecca@Coachingforlifetimechange.com.au.  Sometimes it is easier to talk to some who understands.

I am Filled With Anger!

No having a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder is not fair and after diagnosis we can feel angry about it.  This is usually the next step after denial.

As a parent’s denial fades, anger arises that his or her child’s condition may not improve significantly.  The emotion of anger could cause the parent to blame the doctor for making the diagnosis, blame your wife or ourselves for doing something “wrong” during the pregnancy.  Some people go through a spiritual crisis and feel that they have caused this to happen because they may not have prayed enough.  People can be angry towards everyone for this new journey which makes it had for all involved to cope.  Sadly some people let the anger control them and they turn to physical means of showing this anger.

The anger will not last and there has to become the time when you need to let the anger go.  It is hard but the more we stay angry the less we are able to function properly.  It will also hinder the relationship with your child.  Do not give up on your child because they need you to help them have a bright future.

If you are reading this and are in this stage of anger and you want to talk to someone who is outside the picture, please email me on Rebecca@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au as I am more than happy to be that ear.  Any dads who are reading this and are stuck in the place please reach out through email as I am more than happy to listen.

 

I Can Not Get My Head Around The Diagnosis

It is extremely important the realise that no matter if you were expecting a diagnosis or not that we all go through a grief cycle.  The first part of this grief cycle is denial.

The function of denial for the majority of us is that is creates a necessary buffer zone as it takes us time to deal with a new reality.  Feeling a reaction of denial is perfectly normal and healthy.

The function of denial is that it makes the pain bearable until we find our inner strength to move on and find the supports to help us.

If you need to talk to someone about how you are feeling in this stage, please do not hesitate to contact me through email Rebecca@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au.  I am here for you as this is not easy.

Tomorrow I will put up a post about anger.

My Child’s Diagnosis of Autism Hurts Me So Much

When looking back at when my child’s diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, I can still remember my reaction, how I felt like it was yesterday.  I had expected the diagnosis but it still hurt that they were going through this and there was nothing that I could do to “take the diagnosis away”.   I prayed to God that he could do anything to me but he had to take away my child’s diagnosis of autism.

Are you having similar thoughts?

You are not alone I promise you.  It is extremely natural for you to feel this way because people are hardwired to decrease pain and increase pleasure.   Most of us have to block out the pain just to function from day to day.  But sadly people never face these painful feelings and thoughts.  However these thoughts do not go away they simply just increase.

My clients have the opportunity to share these painful thoughts in a safe environment where there is no judgement.  There is nothing a client could tell me that would shock me.  I am here for each of my clients and I want them to feel free to share these thoughts so that they can move on.

If you want to share these thoughts and want to move on, have a look at my program Empowering Families of a Child with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Diagnosis Process Is Exhausting for a Family with a Child With ASD

Today I was filling out an pragmatic assessment for Emma before she heads to school next year.  When completing this activity, I remembered how the diagnosis process is exhausting for family with a child with ASD. The one thing I hate is writing about my children and assessing their behaviours.  It is extremely draining especially for the parents who are filling out the forms for the diagnosis.  My suggestions to get through this are:

  • Spread it out everyday instead of all at once.
  • Go spend time with your child
  • Remember that you are doing the best thing for your child’s future
  • Make sure you fit in something for you.

Book reading

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