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Don’t Wait Forever For Happiness

CouplesAre you waiting for happiness to arrive? Don’t wait forever for happiness.

How often the media and others when I loose 20kgs, have the most successful business, have the best relationship you will be happy?

All the time!

I remember completing a 21km run (ok I walked the entire way) and all throughout the preparation, I was expecting this massive wave of emotion to come over me with the achievement.  Did it happen?  Nope and boy was I disappointed.  All this effort, blisters, swollen arm for goodness knows what, loosing toe nails and I didn’t feel much after it.

Why do we tell people that when you do………………………………………………………..you will be happy?

I went to a relationship workshop run by Wendy Jacobs who helped me with some personal issues a while back.  She taught us three powerful words which is already making such a huge impact on my life.

BE………………….DO………………….HAVE

We are always being told to do, be, have.  Do the work and then you will be what you want and then you will have happiness.  But Wendy taught us to be who we want to be right now, do what you have to be who you want to be and have everything that you want.  Loosing 20kgs is not going to make you happy.  Eating healthy, exercising and looking after yourself will make you happy.

If you want to improve your relationships, you need to have a complete vision on what you want your relationship to be.  Then you need to be who you want to be in your relationship.  Do not accept average or a 5 in your relationship.  If you want to be a 10 in your relationship you need a vision of what that actually means and be that person right now.  You need to then activate your plan to be that person and do everything in your power to be that person.  Then you will naturally have the relationship that you want to have.

Here at Coaching for Lifetime Change, we have many programs which are focused on your relationships with your partner, with yourself and/or your child.  It is now time to not wait and be who you want to be right now.

Don’t wait forever for happiness!

Great Resource – Rainbow Families

A fantastic tool kit that the Rainbow Families Council for same sex couples and single people in Victoria.  This tool kit has everything that individuals need when thinking about becoming a family and relevant Acts.

Coaching for Lifetime Change supports all families no matter what form of relationship the family comprises of.

Do You Want to Build A Stronger Relationship With Your Child?

Do you want to build a stronger relationship with your child?  It is devastating to think that so many parent’s out there feel that it is too late to build a stronger relationship with your child because that is simply not true.  Mums’ who have been through postnatal depression, anxiety, depression, PPD,PPA feel that their child is never going to love them because of their illness.  To that I say that is crap.  I spent 7 months after the birth of my second child in a mother/baby unit and a psych ward and my relationship with my girls is as strong as ever.  Both of my girls have autism and I have found all the little ways that I can connect with them.

Creating a bond with your child is not all about all the toys and love that you can provide for your child.  It is about your connection that you have with them as a person.  You can connect with your child through a look, a touch, a smile, showing interest in what they are doing and letting your child take the lead and you following them.  It is not about spending 80% of your time with your child but it is what you do with your child that matters.

I was watching the late news on TV last night and it had a sad story of a child being abducted whilst they slept.  There was a post from a friend on facebook of a child waking up with a headache and fell in a coma and the Drs didn’t know if she would make it through the night.  I then lay awake and thought about these poor parents and clients who feel that their child does not love them.  Then I thought about all the parents who abuse children and wonder where have we gone wrong?

But then I kept thinking how can I at Coaching for Lifetime Change make a difference?  I am making it my goal to help as many mums and dads out there to create their dream relationship with their child so that no parent is faced thinking “if only I took action yesterday before it was too late.”  I do not care if it is minor adjustments that you need support in to create your dream relationship or if you have really struggled to build a relationship because YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE RIGHT NOW.  I will help you develop a strong relationship with your child and we are not going to give up until that happens.

If you are thinking that you do not know how to create a strong relationship with your child because your parents were not there for you for whatever reason, you can change that path.  You have your own dreams. You just need to make that decision to do it.  It is never too late and I know how hard it can be as I have had to do it myself.  I want to be there 100% for you to achieve YOUR dream.

If you want to build a strong relationship with your child RIGHT NOW complete the form below complete the form below and sign up for a FREE “Build Your Dream Relationship With Your Child Right Now” Coaching Session.

Click on the link below and fill in the form to the most important decision you can make for you and your child

http://eepurl.com/SpncD

Why Kim Kardashian Will Never be Good at Family Relationships?

How many of us read all about the Kardashian’s and how to exploit your family to the extent of destruction?  What exactly do they stand for other than making money?  What makes it even scarier is that there is bound to be people out there who are basing their family relationship on the Kardashian.

Although, they attempt to portray themselves as this tight family where their relationships are extremely important but is that an accurate picture?  Hell no and it is very obvious when looking at their rates of divorce.  Nevertheless, I have been slightly impressed that Kim has shielded North from the public eye.

How does is Kanye going to add to this family relationship?  I am left wondering (and shaking my head) because he has a bigger ego as Kim and honestly he is so up himself with his unusual rants (oh poor me I only got two grammy nominations 🙁 ). I guess time will only tell.

Nevertheless, I would love to help Kim and Kanye to put their egos aside and help them to create their own empire with family relationships by really getting them to explore and vidualise what they picture their family relationship to be and take action to create their dreams.

 

How NOT To Teach Your Child To Swim

swimmingGrace and Emma have been having swimming lessons for the last month and they are just so cute.  I would let Steve teach them as he used to teach children to swim but we thought the girls would get more out of having swimming lessons.  I was probably lucky on Friday that Grace wanted to go to the toilet as Steve watched an interesting (that is probably putting it mildly) display of a child being taught to swim by his father (not the swimming instructors).  The father on the other hand was probably lucky Steve was watching Emma as the look on Steve’s face was of hatred that I have never seen.

This father was dragging the child by his neck around the water, was smacking him, was yelling at him and being quite physical with every little error the poor child made and I do not think the child was older than 9.  It was simply horrible and disgusting to watch.  I bet the father wouldn’t have let the child do swimming lessons as I would not be surprised to see the father punch the instructor for every little mistake.

What kind of future is this poor child going to have as every time he see water he would remember this experience and god knows what relationship this child has with his father.  It will not be a good one. Absolutely shocking is all I can say.

We Only Talk About The Children

How often do we hear that when you have time with your partner you only talk about the children.  For Steve and I we make time for children talk as that is always essential that both parents are on the same page in regards to the girls.

But when we are just spending time together we try our very best not to talk about the girls.  I do remember our first date night and we went out for dinner not far from home as it was our first time leaving them.  But we made the rule that we were not allowed to talk about the girls.  My goodness let me tell you it was like a first date because we were so used talking about the girls, we became out of practice about talking about other things.

It is a great time to touch base with each other and see how both individuals are travelling and talking openly to each other.

Does Your Relationship Matter After Having a Baby?

It is quite common once a child is born for couples to focus solely on the new child.  The go from being a couple to instantly becoming a parent.  There is no transition in life that is greater than becoming a parent.  But what happens to the couple?

John Gottman explains in his program Bringing Baby Home Program that the parent-child relationship becomes the family focus and the couple’s relationship is not a priority and it puts stress onto the relationship.  Nevertheless, more and more research is being completed emphasising that the parents need to work on their own relationship whilst transitioning into parenthood.  If parent’s feel that their relationship as a couple is becoming strained it will naturally take a toll on each person’s physical and mental well being.

If a couple worked on their relationship to keep it strong the couple will have:

  • higher self-esteem
  • Greater social success
  • Increased desire to be social, involved
  • High flexibility, willingness to change
  • Increased commitment
  • Better physical health
  • Ability to love

If a couple did not work on their relationship it would lead to:

  • Increased stress levels
  • Impulsiveness, poor decision making
  • Anger and hostility
  • Decreased creativity
  • Difficulty problem-solving
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Self-consciousness (Gottman, 2007, Bringing Baby Home program – Children and Parents: A Delicate Relationship, p.21)

Therefore it is extremely important for couples to foster their relationship and keep building on it in order to have a strong family relationship.  Below is a list of strategies you could implement on a daily basis to strengthen your relationship:

  • Say I love you
  • Send an I love you text
  • Sit down and watch tv together
  • Talk about each other’s day
  • Acknowledge that things are stressful and simply listen to each other.
  • Acknowledge that your partner is doing a good job.
  • Organise a date every month
  • Remember why you love your partner
  • Eat dinner together
  • Make sure you laugh!

I Want To Make Everything Alright All The Time

Is this thought realistic or unrealistic?

Can we make everything alright all the time?

The answer is simply NO! When I think about the above statement the immediate picture, all I could think about was all the advertising about what being a perfect parent would look like.

There is no one that could possibly say they make things alright every time.  Being a parent is not about making things perfect all the time its all about learning about our own needs and our children’s own needs. That does not come instantly, it comes in time.

Plus there is so much that is external that we can not possibly control but all you can do is do your best.

One on one coaching could be extremely beneficial for those who really want to be the best parent that you want to be.  By focusing on you and your relationships with family memebers, you will be naturally learn to meet the needs of family members and meeting those needs will make the perfect family unit.

Date Day/Night

The power of having a date day/night!

As new parents we forget that once upon a time and probably not so long ago you were husband/wife, partners. Then you became mum and dad.

But what happened to husband and wife? It gets forgotten down the list of everything else that “seems” to be more important. But the question I have for you is: is everything else more important?

It is one of those areas that a lot of people grieve about the loss of being able to go out by themselves. So it is important to gather one of your supports to try and get out by doing something you both enjoyed doing. I remember the first time Steve and I went out a couple of years after Grace was born. It was like a first date. Plus we made the extra rule that we were not allowed to talk about the kids. But it was great activity to do. Not only was it time out from the kids but it gave us a chance just to be together.

If it is difficult to get out (believe me there better be a good excuse), then get the kids to bed early have a romantic dinner, watch a dvd. Just anything where you both can do something TOGETHER!

Try it and let us know how you go.

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