Paste your Google Webmaster Tools verification code here

What are the Six Basic Human Needs?

Have you ever asked yourself why do people do what they do?  For instance why does a person save someone’s life whilst another kills someone out of sheer pleasure?  Tony Robbin’s has developed through research that every individual world wild has 6 human basic needs.  These needs are not desires and wants.

These are psychological needs that we constantly work towards to satisfy on a mostly unconscious level of awareness.   The 6 human basic needs are the factors that influence your deepest motivations and effectively determine how you go about prioritising your decisions and actions throughout your life.

When these needs are met at a high level, you experience a great deal of happiness and fulfillment in your life. On the other hand, when these needs are not met at a high level, you will tend to feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied. However, because all this happens on an unconscious level of awareness, you probably don’t even realize why you’re feeling this way. Your life seems okay on the surface, however something is just not right. Nothing you do seems to make you happy, and life in general just seems as though it’s missing important elements that you can’t seem to identify.

So what are the 6 human basic needs?

Basic human Needs

In the above diagram you will see that the 6 human basic needs are:

  1. Certainty
  2. Uncertainty
  3. Significance
  4. Love/connection
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution

Let us see how this works in your daily life.  Say that you want to loose weight.  For you to successfully loose the desired weight loss, you need to meet the above needs.

  1. Certainty – by eating healthy, exercising and drinking water you would be pretty certain that you will loose weight.
  2. Uncertainty – is there some challenges in your exercise plan that will add some variety and challenge you?
  3. Significance – Are people telling you that they can see the changes and how hard you are working?
  4. Love/connection – do you love yourself for who you are?
  5. Growth – Are you developing as a person?  Are you learning about how you can be healthy forever.
  6. Contribution – are you participating in social activities at the gym?  Are you contributing to your exercise plan?

Over the next few weeks, we will be looking at each of the needs closely and start to look at your life and how you can implement them.

Are You Surrounded By Darkness?

Darkness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are YOU surrounded by darkness?  Please be honest with yourself and know that it is ok to admit it.  In the last couple of days, there has been news of a dad taking the lives of his two young boys and his own and it serves constantly as a reminder the importance of reaching out to someone and getting help.

When you are surrounded by the darkness to the point where you see absolutely no other way but to take ones life, you can not fight it on your own.  It is a hard to explain to people how one can get to the brink and the immense struggle it is to fight off those suicidal thoughts.  I know what it is like.  I have been in that spot of ending my own life.  I wanted to be there for my family but I was consumed by the darkness of suicide. You do not have to suffer in silence.  But you need to get help immediately.  I would honestly say that I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to go through what I have been through.  Nevertheless, I have come out the other side a better and stronger person.  YOU CAN TOO.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in getting help and you may never know that by telling someone, you might also encourage them to speak up.  You do not have to take your life to “improve life”.  You can do that with a professional and a supportive group around you.

It is not easy but it is a lot harder to keep fighting the darkness.  You just need to say I NEED HELP.

Really Easy Way To Improve Your Relationship!

Do you want to learn a really easy way to improve your relationship?  Keep on reading.

Have an honest reflection on where you are currently with your partner and answer this question “Are you currently turning away or towards you partner?” This is a really tough question to answer, however, it is a good question to see where your relationship is currently at.

Relationships will always go through stressful periods. This can range from having children on the Autism Spectrum, financial, medical, mental health etc. A recent period of stress on my relationship with my husband is when I was suffering the side effects of medication. My mental well being went into the darkness that I never thought I would go back into and believe me I had myself convinced that my husband and I were on the road to separation.

I remember sitting in a course by Wendy Jacobs a few months ago and she said that even if one of you make changes to improve your relationship, your partner will naturally change. I have to admit when I heard this I was very sceptical because a relationship is a partnership and if only one person changes then how will this benefit a relationship?

I have been studying the work of John Gottman and in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he talks a lot about couples turning towards each other than away. He states that if you turn regularly towards each other you are strengthening your relationship which will assist when you hit stressful patches. By turning towards each other is the key to long lasting romance.

I decided to put all of this into an experiment after our stressful period. I know my husband hates when I am not fully listening to him. However, in my defence I am pretty certain that I have auditory processing troubles as I have always had trouble processing what people are saying when there is other noises around.

Nevertheless, I made the conscious decision that when he comes in from work, I stop and see how his day is. If he talks to me, I make sure I am looking at him rather than continuing with what I am doing. These are just small changes that I have made myself to see what would happen.

So what is the end result when I make the effort to turn towards my husband? He is actually turning more towards me again. By making this small change, has opened up the connection between my husband and I again.

What small change can you make in your relationship to help you to turn towards each other again?

Massive Win Against an Insurance Company

IT IS TIME FOR INSURANCE COMPANIES TOIt is fantastic to share with you all our massive win against an insurance company.

It has been a long journey with the insurance company to provide the girls trauma insurance.  I still cant believe we had to battle to get trauma insurance for the girls.  It has definitely been a journey and many times I have felt like telling them to go F*ck themselves.  But I knew if I did that then there would be no win for families with autism.

But the fantastic is news is that

WE WON!!!!!!!!!

The girls now have trauma insurance.  But what does that mean to other families?

Well the exciting news (but don’t worry I will keep up to speed to make sure that these changes occur) but they were totally taken off guard by all my questions.  Considering they are meant to have current statistics on Autism, they were only relying (kind of) on the DSV – 5.  Before the change of diagnosis they had two categories either Autism which is low functioning and Asperger’s which is high functioning.  But with the change with the DSV – 5 and no Asperger’s diagnosis, they just simply lump ALL children who have been diagnosed with Autism on the Spectrum no matter what.

Until now…………………………………After my very vocal phone call (they won’t ring me back because they think I am scary lol) and after the ANZ finance James fighting with us, the medical under writers have realised that they have made huge error.  They have come to realise that not all children who are diagnosed with Autism are low functioning.  This is still an area that I want to continue to fight for because in this case we are still only talking trauma.  An individual with severe autism is no more susceptible to cancer than a high functioning autism.  But they have new policies coming out in the next few months and they are going to make sure this area is fixed.  What is even better is that these medical under writers cover most insurance companies so all of their policies will also change.

The ANZ has taken this even further with James training other financial consultants on how they can help families with children on the spectrum.  The ANZ has been fantastic to work with for my family and I am also very appreciative that the insurance companies are also making changes.

I will not give up the fight.

Why We Use Essential Oils

We have been using essential oils for about a year as part of my families well being and as I get more confident in using them for multiple purposes I know that we will never look back.

Essential oils are one of the great untapped resources of the world.  Here we have a system of natural help our bodies to function at a higher level than it is probably operating at.  These extremely complex precious liquids are extracted from very specific species of plant life and are in harmony with people and planet alike.  By taking essential oils into our lives we find a way to provide our family and home with the protection and pleasure they need without polluting ourselves or our environment with chemicals.

These days the household goods we use are mostly chemical-based, and the food we eat and the air we breathe contain more chemicals than we would like.  The cumulative effect of these, and the unknown effects as they react together within us, cannot be good for us, any more than chemical overload is good for the planet.  Sooner or later we are going to have to find some alternatives and, for some of our problems, the alternatives is literally right under our noses, drawing us to them with their sweet-smelling aroma – precious miracles and delights of creation, nature’s essential oils.

I am continually surprised how versatile the oils are and there are so many ways to use them.  As a family we have been using them to enhance our body function, improve our emotions, reduce our emotional overload and use them more and more in household tasks.

Someone once said to me what would people do if we couldn’t access medicine, hospitals, supermarkets due to a natural disaster?  I am always relieved that I have essential oils available if this ever was the case.

 

How to Strengthen Our Hair From Head Lice

Reports in the media in regards to head lice is that they are not responding (not the right way) to the countless products out on the market shelves.  I know I dread having head lice in the girls hair as they detest having their hair brushed as it is.  I have always been cautious about using products regularly on their hair due to all the toxins in these products.  Goodness my head is already itching just thinking about it.

Head lice are wingless flat insects which infest the hair, laying eggs and feeding on human blood from the scalp. They are between 2 and 4mm in length and the eggs, known as nits, attach to the hair near the scalp and hatch every seven to eight days.

So how do we strengthen our hair?

Although not scientifically proven to be effective against head lice, anecdotal reports suggest that essential oils do work, and they do not contain industrial chemicals and insecticides employed by some proprietary brands of head lice treatment. Lice are also known to show some resistance to the insecticide treatments, which is why parents of children with head lice are turning to natural alternatives.

Which Oils to Use

There are around half a dozen essential oils which strengthen our hair as head lice likes . These are, cinnamon leaf, eucalyptus, tea tree, geranium, lavender, rosemary and thyme. The most effective are judged to be tea tree and eucalyptus.  I personally would also avoid using cinnamon leaf and rosemary on children.  I would also be very particular on brand of essential oil.  In Australia, to be labelled as pure, they only need to be 5% pure.  So what is the rest in the bottle.  You need to look for brands that are absolutely pure and know exactly what their testing procedures are.

According to Mama Herb, “Mix your shampoo with 3 tablespoons of olive oil, 1 teaspoon of tea tree oil and 1 teaspoon of eucalyptus oil. Apply this combination into the hair. Wear a tight-fitting shower cap. Wash off after an hour.” If the skin has been irritated by the bites, add 2 drops of chamomile to the mix to soothe the skin. The combination of tea tree and eucalyptus oil is thought to either suffocate the lice, or numb them sufficiently to make them easy to comb out.

To avoid overuse of the oils, occasionally substitute thyme for tea tree oil and lavender or geranium for eucalyptus. However, if there is a history of epilepsy, avoid using rosemary essential oil as it has been known to cause seizures.

Essential Oil Hair Strengthening Recipe

4 drops Meleleuca Alternifolia
4 drops Thyme
2 drops Lavender
2 drops Geranium

Mix these essential oils together and then combine with 1 cup (or so) of coconut oil. The coconut oil works to smother and stun the lice and helps to dissolve the ‘glue’ that lice use to attach the to the hair shaft about 1/4 inch from the scalp.

You can purchase coconut hair shampoo which I love from Coconut Revolution http://www.coconutrevolution.com.au/.

I have also heard that it is important to leave the hair wrapped in glad wrap or a shower cap for a good hour.  I also have heard that a hair straightener also burns the eggs making it easier to comb them out.

Precautions

Never apply any essential oils neat to a child’s head. If your child has sensitive skin, add one drop of tea tree, one drop of eucalyptus and one drop of chamomile to a golf ball sized dollop of conditioner and use after a normal shampoo, making sure to comb all the lice out afterward.

After Care

“The best way to prevent head lice spreading is to check your whole family’s heads regularly and treat them as soon as live lice are found,” notes Bupa, a healthcare company based in the U.K. Once the infestation has been dealt with, add one drop of tea tree to your usual shampoo once a week as a precaution.

Blatant Discrimination Against Individuals With Autism

Part 2

I can not believe the blatant discrimination against individuals with autism by the insurance company. If you have just come across this post you might like to go to:

PART 1

IT’S TIME FOR INSURANCE COMPANIES TO STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINT INDIVIDUALS WITH ASD!!!!!

The Finance Manager felt once we sent that information, we should have no issue with getting this cover for the girls.  He was happy knowing that the medical officer was going to deal with the situation.  Time of course went past and I had actually slightly forgotten about it all.  Until we got a letter in the mail.

We were told that the girls could not be covered for trauma insurance because of their medical history.  Not only that, I had to give them a doctors details so that they could send a letter to my doctor.  I was astounded to say the least!

So I decided to play dumb.  I rang the insurance company and asked them which doctor they contacted if they had their “medical history”.  I was told that they DO NOT actually call the doctors with the children.  But I said, you have claimed you have their medical history which has denied them trauma insurance.  I asked them what did they find out that the girls had in their medical history that I did not know about.  The person replied that they only have Autism.

So I questioned so which trauma is caused by Autism?  The person said none but he isn’t involved in the underwriting.  So he promised me that he would have an underwriter contact me the following day as he saw what I was saying.

IT’S TIME FOR INSURANCE COMPANIES TO STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINT INDIVIDUALS WITH ASD!!!!!

At this stage I thought maybe this might be ok as he saw what point I was making.  I then contacted the financial planner and he also was blown away that the girls were denied.  He said he will follow it up with the insurance people.

I then rang Amaze Victoria (Autism Victoria) who were also blown away by the situation but sadly knew this story all to well.  She suggested ringing The Victorian Human Rights Commission and a couple of other agencies for their advice.  The Human Rights Commission Disability explained that I could make a written complaint against the insurance company and they could help mediate with the insurance company.  I said to them I would wait and see what the company said when I spoke to the insurance company.

IT’S TIME FOR INSURANCE COMPANIES TO STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINT INDIVIDUALS WITH ASD!!!!!

Part 3 will be out very soon as you will here the real reason for denying the girls trauma insurance and it only gets worse.  This could be a hard post to write as I am still feeling upset about it when I think about it.  If you have been discriminated against by an insurance company in relation to Autism, I would love to here at info@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au.

 

How to Survive the Dreaded School Report

Do you remember the days when you got your school reports?  I remember our school used to post them out (I guess they woke up that students may not have passed on those dreaded school reports to parents) and we used to watch the mail like hawks.  Then when they were handed to our parents, we used to go hide with sweat dripping down our face, until we heard our names being called.  I loved the reports that were clear that the teacher had no idea who I was and got me in trouble.

Now that I am a mum, with two girls with ASD, I am now in my parents position of reading their reports.  I have been thinking a lot about my own expectations which could be placing unnecessary pressure on the girls.  Have you ever thought what your expectations are?

Strategies which will help you to survive the dreaded school report are

  1. Be aware if your expectations and where these expectations originate from.  Be aware that you have made up these expectations and that you can change them.  You do not need to put your expectations onto your child.
  2. Replace the phrase “try your best” with “do your best” because we want your child to actually do the action.
  3. Always look for your child’s strengths.  We tend to focus on the weaknesses as they are the areas that our child needs help with.  However as an adult we focus on our weaknesses, we focus on our strengths.  By focusing on the strength areas, you may find different ways to improve the areas that they need help with. We also have to think outside the box.
  4. Do not compare your child to other children and their reports.  This is one thing I hate seeing in the playground. Parents comparing their child to other children.  Every child is different.
  5. Celebrate the small things rather than looking at the whole picture.  Think about where they were at the start of the year and celebrate the achievements big or small to get them to where they are now.
  6. Always remember that we don’t need those reports in later life.

Is Your ASD Child Nervous About Starting School?

Is your ASD child nervous about starting school?  I know my Emma is.  At present we are in the middle of January holidays and I know that she is really nervous about starting school as she keeps telling me “when she is 6 years old.”  I am not sure how I am meant to get her there between the start of February to the end of February when she technically turns 6.

She is excited about having Grace there, “happy” about the teacher and also purchasing her school shoes.

However over the last few weeks, we have been seeing an increase in her resorting her to baby behaviour.  She feels that when we are in the car that it is going fast even at 30km/h. Plus forget about her eating as she is not eating much.

I spoke with her OT today and she thinks that Emma is trying to grab control of whatever she can because the thought of going to school is out of her control and making her feel like it could be going to fast.

Suggestions to help are:

*  talk with her about her emotions and normalise them

* do some animal jumps to the car

*  have a weighted blanket in the car.

I will try and give her more control in some areas so that she feels a sense of control.

 

My Daughter is Improving In School

One of my clients has been using a blend of oil to help her daughter to concentrate in school and my client reported that her child has improved in her school work and reading and her teacher has also noticed the difference since using these essential oils.  These oils are amazing and they are extremely powerful.

If your child is struggling in school and would like to know more about this oil, please feel free to email me at Rebecca@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au and I will be more than happy to share with you all about these oils as they may help your child.

//