Paste your Google Webmaster Tools verification code here

For Dads

Dad and baby

Do you remember the first time you held your child in your arms? 

Do you remember looking at their eyes, nose, mouth, fingers, toes?

Do you remember what your dreams were for your child?

Here in your arms is your son/daughter.  Did you sit there thinking “I wonder if my child would be on the Autism Spectrum or Sensory Processing Disorder?”  I do not know any first time dads who would have asked themselves this question.  A parent who may already have a child who has been diagnosed may have wondered about the possibility.  But the majority of dads would be enjoying the moment.

I remember when I worked with children with Autism, I did wonder if I would have a child with Autism.  But at no stage did I think it would happen to my future children.

Nevertheless, you are here reading this page and so I assume you are in the process or have had a child diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum Disorder or with Sensory Processing Disorder.  It is a long journey with the diagnosis process and it does not prepare you for the diagnosis.  Believe me it was not easy for my husband and I to hear either and we suspected that we would get the diagnosis.

You would be asking yourself so many right now.  For instance:

  • What is the future be for my child?
  • What do we do now?
  • How am I meant to build a relationship?
  • Will my child be bullied at school?
  • Do I even believe in Autism or Sensory Processing Disorder?

I want to reach out to you right now and always remember getting your child help right now is one of the best things you have done.  With the right professional help your child can have a bright future.  Research demonstrates that receiving early intervention, their likelihood of success in the future is so much more improved.

Dad’s Guilt

Throughout the diagnosis process, you would have been asked if anyone in the family had been previously diagnosed with Autism or Sensory Processing Disorder.  The question usually comes up either during the process or after the diagnosis about where could my child’s Autism and Sensory Processing came from.  You might have been told by a professional or read that it is common for Autism to be passed down by the father’s gene.  This is extremely confronting for Dad’s to hear and I know it made my husband really look at himself. It does not help that partners also analyse everything about their partner to find any connection.

Statistics shows that adults who are diagnosed later in life are usually done because their child has been diagnosed.  Nevertheless, Dads usually receive little to no assistance with these feelings and many dads deal with it in silence and not move through it.

In the program After An ASD or SPD Diagnosis, we take the time to look at dads guilt so that you can move through it so you can be an active part of your child’s future.  This can also be looked at in all other programs as it is an area that can hinder you moving into the future.

Grief

How much help did you receive with dealing with grief?  It is quite surprising that so many couples do not get any help with the grief cycle.  A lot of people do not realise that that was grief that they went through and in hindsight they wish that they knew it.  Very sadly, there are mums and dads that have not made it through the grief cycle and that is hindering in every aspect of their life.

Parenting Skills

As parents we bring to our relationship with perceived ideas of what kind of parent we would like to be.  Some of these ideas may have come from our own parents, grandparents or other people.  We will also have our own thoughts of how we would like to parent.

Throughout early intervention, professionals will make suggestions on how to manage behaviour etc that will suit your child.  Some of these suggestions may challenge your beliefs on how to raise your child.  They will also challenge your own emotions which is extremely hard.  However, we need to remember that our own perceived ideas are just ideas and can be changed.  The suggestions are also for the well being of your child which will improve your relationship with your child and it will immense effects on everyone’s relationships.

I will be soon offering an emotion coaching program for the whole family.  I have used it on my own family and honestly the change in our relationship has been huge.  My youngest is now coming up to me saying “I love you mummy” without any prompting.

Relationship with Partner

Relationship distress is quite common amongst families as they move through all the ups and downs of raising a child on the spectrum.  Every decision is for the best of the child and usually the relationship is the last to be nurtured.

In the program Strengthening Partner Relationships, we look at how the relationship is currently functioning and we look at the basics of the relationship.  Then we build a strong foundation that will make the relationship between partners remain strong even when there are hurdles to get over.

Who am I?

Majority of Dads know that they can not get to their child’s therapy appointments due to work commitments.  For a lot of Dad’s they become the sole income earner and they worry about how they can financially earn enough money for their family’s future.  There is extra pressure to work harder and there is always concern of job security.

I stress that it is important for both Mum and Dad to focus on themselves as it will have dramatic effect on all your relationships.

In the program It’s Time to Look After Me is all about you.  By investing in YOU, you will be the person you want to be. You will strengthen your relationship with all your family members.  You will have a new lease on life.

Reconnecting With Your Child

I want to really reach out to you and reassure you that although your child may have a diagnosis you can still have a wonderful relationship with your child.  It may be different to what you dreamed but by getting into what your child enjoys will let you both develop a meaningful relationship.

The program Connect With Your Child is all about you building a relationship your child.  We all dream of how we would love to see our relationship with our child being but sadly it may not be reality.  No matter what the situation is there are always ways you can interact with your child.  Your child will always need you so let us build those foundations.

If YOU need any help, please do not hesitate to drop me an email at Rebecca@Coachingforlifetimechange.com.au.  I do endeavour to get back to you within 24 hours.

You are not alone. 

//