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Do You Have A Negative Relationship With Your Child

Do you have a negative relationship with your child?

Dr John Gottman, in his 40 years of research, explains it perfectly in his Bringing Baby Home Program.  Just like couples can have more negative than positive things about things about your relationship, you can also have more negative than positive things about your relationship with your children.

Many parents find themselves at times in an exclusively negative relationship with their children.  Parents who frequently criticise and fail to recognise positive things about their children are in a negative cycle.  I know I do go through stages with the girls sadly from time to time.  I might be feeling tired from their constant demands, lack of sleep etc etc that I can hear myself being negative towards them.  It is extremely important that we recognise when this is occurring and stop it straight away.

Some parents may feel by being negative that the child will be scared or feel threatened to do the right thing.  But sadly, in most cases, the child will misbehave more because the child is accustomed to misbehaving to get some form of connect with you.

If you find yourself in the negative cycle with your children, take a breath and do something for you for 5 minutes.  Then get in the habit of picking out when your child is behaving positively and acknowledge those moments.  This will help swing around your relationship from a positive rather a negative relationship.

If you feel you need help to achieve this, I do run a 12 week coaching program called Nurture Your Mother/Child Relationship.

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