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How do I use Essential Oils to Ease Anger?

Essential Oils and Anger
Numerous clients ask me how do I use essential oils to ease anger?  In this post I have discussed what are essential oils and how they are used in Aromatherapy.

For my family I am always looking at ways in which I can support us emotionally as we tend to get stuck in emotions.  When I had my first experience with essential oils through an AromaTouch, I was flabbergasted on how effective they immediately were.  I had tried essential oils in the past and had no success.  However from what I have learnt is that purity is a must to have the best success with essential oils.  My friend, who was giving me the AromaTouch, noticed that I relaxed quickly considering she also does Bowen Massage and I rarely lie still.  It was simply amazing.

Hubby has also gone through a temporary stage of depression and it was to the point where he rarely spoke to me.  My friend suggested that I put a drop of essential oils on a tissue and lie it next to his head whilst he slept.  So I tried it.  I felt so bad putting it near his head when he slept.  However, believe it or not, the next morning he was actually talking to me.  I couldn’t believe it and neither could he.  He said it helped him and he kept putting a grounding blend on himself daily.

For the girls, I have worked out which oils they respond to better.  I am always amazed that some oils Grace responds to really well whilst Emma doesn’t respond to them.  Some oils make Grace sleep walk whilst the same oils make Emma sleep really well.   Up to the age of 7, Grace never slept in her bed the entire night.  But they first thing we noticed when I introduced oils into our lives that with a blend of oils it improved Grace’s sleep so much that she actually woke up rested and ready to start the day.

Lately,  Emma has been really angry about everything and I have to admit I haven’t been using the oils as much.  I love putting the oils in the diffuser which I do regularly but haven’t been doing it as much as I used to.  But Emma needed help.  Her anger was happening so often it was draining her energy.  So I used the above blend in the diffuser and as well topically (please do not use any oil topically as a lot are not pure even though they say they are 100% pure) and over the last few days, the anger has gone.  She now asks me to put the oils on her because she knows they are helping her.

It can be hit and miss with essential oils at the start because everyone is different.  However, when you get the right combination you will never look back.

If you would like to purchase the above blend which is great for grounding and reinvigorating you, please send me an email at info@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au as I can make up the diffuser blend for you and I can make up a roller bottle and mail it to you.  If you need a diffuser you can purchase them through me as well.

When Your Child Is Angry!

screaming childIt can be very distressing for everyone when your child is angry.  They have gotten themselves in a state that is hard to get them what they want and our adrenaline starts pumping to get them to stop.  The majority of the time the situation ends with everyone is yelling at each other.  Does it help?  Usually no.

I was talking with a couple of parents after I dropped Grace and Emma off to school.  They came up with some fantastic strategies that I thought I would share with you.

The first strategy is like a metaphor.  Get the child to picture that they are at the beach.  When the child is just on the edge of anger they are at the edge of the water and that is when they can get out of the anger.  Then as they go further into the water is the intensity of the anger and they can’t get out.  That is when you need to offer your child a lifeboat to help them come back. A great object to add is a blanket and they can get on and you can pull them to safety.

The other parent acknowledged that it is during this time that as parents we need to be compassionate and do our very best not to yell back.  I know with my girls I tend to label their emotion and find it calms them down a lot quicker and I take the time to sit with them to help them through their emotions.

What other tips do you know?

I am Filled With Anger!

No having a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder is not fair and after diagnosis we can feel angry about it.  This is usually the next step after denial.

As a parent’s denial fades, anger arises that his or her child’s condition may not improve significantly.  The emotion of anger could cause the parent to blame the doctor for making the diagnosis, blame your wife or ourselves for doing something “wrong” during the pregnancy.  Some people go through a spiritual crisis and feel that they have caused this to happen because they may not have prayed enough.  People can be angry towards everyone for this new journey which makes it had for all involved to cope.  Sadly some people let the anger control them and they turn to physical means of showing this anger.

The anger will not last and there has to become the time when you need to let the anger go.  It is hard but the more we stay angry the less we are able to function properly.  It will also hinder the relationship with your child.  Do not give up on your child because they need you to help them have a bright future.

If you are reading this and are in this stage of anger and you want to talk to someone who is outside the picture, please email me on Rebecca@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au as I am more than happy to be that ear.  Any dads who are reading this and are stuck in the place please reach out through email as I am more than happy to listen.

 

I Need to Talk to Someone!

I have just finished reading a wonderful article on the website http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/talk-listen-heal-depression-0611125 and its powerful message that we need to listen.  I hear quite a lot by clients the statement that “I need to talk to someone” especially to someone who understands.

So often I hear the statements “I have to be strong”, “I need to build the bridge”, “I need to get over it”,  “People tell me to stop complaining” but all they need to say is “I need to talk to someone”.

Sadly, children are taught to hide their emotions which usually end up boiling over into anger, not to cry, not to talk about how they feel.  But where does this end up in a life of depression, sadness, feeling alone, turning to drugs, alcohol and gambling.  Plus do not forget all the violence that seems to be increasing in our daily life.

How hard is it to actually sit down and listen to someone?  Most people do not need you to come up with a solution but simply listen.  We need to get our heads out of technology and the fast pace lives we think we need and take time to sit down and listen to someone.

People also need to talk to someone who understands how they feel.  My husband would appreciate if he could talk to another guy who has been through an episode of depression but other guys don’t want to talk to admit it and so they keep feeling alone and isolated.  It is extremely important for you to seek a friend who will listen to you as that is a wonderful building block of friendships and relationships.

One aspect of Coaching for Lifetime Change that clients appreciate is that I have been through a similar situation and they can open up to me.  I am not here to judge you but I do have an ear.  If you need to talk I am here for you.

 

Emotional Eruptions (Meltdowns)

I have to admit that I am not a massive fan of calling my children’s emotional eruptions as meltdowns because I guess people already a perceived perception of what entails.  But reality, is what happens is that their emotions goes to extreme levels and I always picture a volcano erupting with their emotions flowing over.

I have to admit that I do not enjoy them what so ever.  Grace has a massive set of lungs Ahh! and the last eruption went on for 1.5 hours and she was impossible to bring down.  Then if Emma joins in it definitely becomes a noisy house.  Sometimes I worry what the neighbours think is going on in my house.  Sad.

But I find that my stress levels increase as I feel like I have an inability to cope with them.  Then by the time Steve comes home I am stressed, cranky and wanting to escape.  It also puts Steve and I at odds and it is not that we disagree on how we handle the situations but Steve feels bad that he is working and I am simply just cranky mainly with myself.  I find it easier to simply talk to Steve about how I am feeling and Steve simply just listens,

The way we help the girls is that we sit with them.  Both tend to scream go away and lash out but I know that they want us close.  Children at all ages (especially when they are tantruming) need help in managing their emotions.  Most children do not understand their own emotions and get quite confused.  If a child can not put a label on the emotion and not understand them, they will not be able to control their emotions.  We see countless times the affect of adults loosing their own control of emotions but we do not allow children who do not understand those emotions.  We explain when they are quieter what they are feeling and they are slowly learning strategies to help them overcome these moments.

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