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I Love You Rituals Improve Your Child’s Brain for Success

love you ritualsI love you rituals improve your child’s brain for success in all areas of their lives.

You may be wondering how is this possible.

In all our brains, brain cells communicate with each other via chemical molecules called neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters act, to some degree, like on-off switches creating communication pathways between cells, similar

to wires linking telephone poles. If these neurotransmitters
do not function optimally, communication within the brain is disrupted. This disruption is reflected in your child’s behaviour.
A key neurotransmitter called Dopamine supports our brain in a number of ways. First, symbolically dopamine says, “Focus on this; pay attention.” It helps us stay focused. How often do you feel that your child is inattentive? How “spacey” do you feel at times?  Second, dopamine motivates us to achieve our goals. It says, “Go for it; get what you desire.” Dopamine helps us take action toward achieving our goals, rather than passively wish things were different. Dopamine also is instrumental in creating the positive emotions we feel when we experience successful social interactions. After a delightful lunch with friends, for example, we feel satisfied and content. This, to some degree, is the afterglow caused by dopamine.
The secret ingredients appear to be eye contact, touch, and the bonding these interactions provide. Watch a caring adult interact with a six-month-old infant: their eyes meet, and a connection is made between them. It is similar to later experiences we call love at first sight. Adults and infants take turns imitating each other’s facial expressions, one leading and the other following as in a graceful ballroom dance. The allure of this mutual intimacy overrides the self-consciousness of even grumpy adults. “Gitsy-goooo,” creeps out of the mouths of even the most reserved adult in the presence of an adorable, responsive baby.
I Love You Rituals are designed to foster eye contact and bonding. In the process, the dopamine system of children is strengthened, as are attention span and social development. All are integral to your child’s social, emotional, and school success. Children who are surrounded by chronic bickering or tension at home may learn to tune out the unpleasantness to survive.  Thus process of tuning out can be a reflection

lowered dopamine levels in the brain. Such problems may include a short attention, the inability to concentrate, follow through on tasks, hyperactivity and to a lesser ability to read the social cues of others.
I Love You Rituals provide daily tune-ups for your children, through which attention spans are likely to increase and cooperation improve.
Suggestion
Try the following experiment. Notice what your child does when your relationship with him or her is disrupted by a series of conflicts. You will notice that your child’s eye contact with you becomes minimal and when you reach out to touch your child, your overture is rebuked. The child pulls away from you, resisting reconnection. When relationships are in need of repair, eye contact is one of the first social actions to go, followed by touch. The journey to reconnection comes through communication. Communication occurs through the simultaneous engagement of eyes, touch, and loving words—all of which are provided in I Love You Rituals.
I know when my relationship is disconnected with the girls.  During those times when I make my “mummy mistakes” especially if I have raised my voice, when I talk to them again their eyes are wide, their fingers go into their mouth and the back away.  However, after apologising and sitting down and having a cuddle, the next time that I talk to them, fingers do not go into their and they do not look like rabbits in car head lights.
If you would love to improve your connection with your child, have a look at our Connect With Your Child program or simply email me at Rebecca@Coachingforlifetimechange.com.au.

I love you Mum/Dad!

I love you

Emma and I had a tough start to our mother/daughter relationship as I suffered sever Postnatal Depression.  Up to the age of 2, I did not feel we had a lot of connection and I was extremely worried that we would not have much of a relationship.

The first sign that our bond was starting to grow was when she used to press her forehead really hard against my head.  She did not do this to anyone but me.  But I saw this as a sign of a building relationship.

I am very big on telling the girls that I love them.  It was not something that was said regularly as a child but if I felt the need to tell them I would.

For individuals with Autism is can be a challenge to get them to say I love you.  But I didn’t mind as no matter what I wanted them to know how much I love them.  Emma now comes up to me all the time and says Mum/Dad, I love you.  She can tell me 50 times and I still would feel the warmth and glow that I feel within my heart when I hear those words.  She is also giving me kisses which is an extra bonus.

Telling your child that you love them can be challenging if you grew up in a family who did not express their love for ach other.  Nevertheless, this is something you can change in your own family.  Your child may not express to you often that they love you but if you make the effort to keep telling them that you love them you may never know, one day they will come to you out of the blue and say Mum/Dad I love you.

For those children who are non verbal, you will need to look at other ways your child is telling you that they love you.  It could be through cuddles, a smile, a look or even getting you to be interested in what they are doing.

 

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