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What Do You Do For Your Child With Autism?

Mother Holding Child's Hand

What do you do for your child with autism?

When times are tough with all the challenges with our children with autism, you may sit there wondering what you are doing to help your child and that you are not a good mum or dad.

You do more than what you realise and all of it is good?

A great strategy to help you get through those moments is write down all of the you do for your child in a day.  Not just all the big things but also those small things.  These include smiling, touching, wiping their face.  I mean everything you do.

Feel free to write these lists down in the comment section below.

 

D’oh Made A Mistake!!!!!!!

D'oh I have made a big mistake and all I can do is hit my forehead and say ‘what a stupid”.

Yesterday Steve said something that upset me and I thought I would simply brush it off.  We were tired from a busy holiday, the girls were arguing and we were having a 3 hour drive home.  Enough to all make us all shudder.

But of course that did not happen. I let it fester in me until this morning.  Steve and I had a miscommunication situation this morning and I just blurted out how I felt hurt and embarrassed about the comment that he said the day before.  Believe me I felt like a tool after that.

What is important for all mums, dads, children should be doing for your relationships is not to simply bottle situations up but calmly talk about the situation. What I should have done yesterday is simply start off with:

“I felt embarrassed about the comment………………………………………………………………”.

It could have been handled easily and calmly and left there and then instead of into the next day. Open and non confrontational communication is extremely important in all parts of your relationships.  By keeping with “I” statements you are simply saying how you felt.

For example partner is yelling in your face about a situation and it is really upsetting you.

A response to this situation is to say ‘I do not like how you yell at me like you were.  I do not feel this yelling is helping the situation or relationship and I will not tolerate this amount of aggressiveness”.  The other person needs to know that it is not acceptable to be yelling aggressively at you and that you are clear that you will not tolerate it.

By keeping the “you this, you that” will stop the confrontation and help to the communication calmer.

Who Will I Be On The Other Side?

WHO WILL I BE WHEN I GET OVER PND?

Are you asking yourself this question at this very moment?

In the midst of the darkness, you do not remember what you were like before the commencement of the illness.  It just feels like it was so far in the past that you actually felt normal.  You can feel so alone and enclosed in the darkness that you think we will never escape.

When you start to feel slightly better, you do naturally start to wonder who you will be when you feel better and you are no longer surrounded by the dark walls.  You once had a dream of being “the best mum possible” and now you label yourself “a bad mum” for what you have gone through.  Do you still stay this bad mum that you have labelled yourself or do you go back to the old you?

What about dreaming about who you want to be?  Life is about growing as an individual. We move through so many stages in life, why can’t we see this as an opportunity to grow as an individual?

If you really want to grow a better you and live your dreams, I want to work with you.  I want to help you reach the dreams that you have with 100% support.  I understand where you have been and want to be as I have walked the same path.  There is nothing better than talking with someone who have been on the same or similar paths.  I want you to reach your dreams and I promise that you will get there.

If you want my assistance and support, drop me an email info@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au and drop me a line about who you want to be and provide me with some contact so I can call you and look more in depth at creating the new you.  This call will provide you with a clear vision of who you want to be, clearing any blockages that are stopping you and shutting the door on the darkness and get you back into loving life.

It’s Not Your Fault

I was just watching Good Will Hunting on TV and it came up to the part where the therapist says “It’s not your fault” “It’s not your fault” over and over until Will cracks.  This part of the movie has always resonated with me and I wanted to share it with you.

I want to tell you that your PND/PPD/Depression/Anxiety is not your fault.  If you have children with special needs “it’s not your fault”.  If you have had a hard time transitioning to parenthood “It’s not your fault”.

Because “it’s not your fault”.

No one ever chooses having mental health issues and no one chooses to have children with special needs.  Sadly it just happens and you need to keep telling yourself that it is not your fault.

You, as a mum or dad, do not need to add any more guilt about your situation and if you want help to rescue your family relationship, I am here to help you do that 100% of the time.

Argh Stop That Noise!

Have you ever said that when your children are making a racket?  I know I have especially today.  In Australia we are in the midst of summer holidays as well so I am sure some parent’s have once or twice.  Grace and Emma are having a wonderful time at present winding each other up to they make these high pitched noises that sound like nails down the chalk board.  I especially hate it when they are doing it in the car.

But after saying the “stop that noise”, I thought to myself why is that upsetting me?  I paid attention to my inside voices and emotions to work out why this was causing me to become annoyed.  I could feel my anxiety levels raising with this high pitched noise, my breathing became shallower and my hands were gripping the steering wheel.

Is this my issue or the children’s issue?  I came down to realising it is probably my issue and not the girls.  By deep breathing and focusing on my breathing I was able to bring down my anxiety levels and calmly remind them that they need to lower the noise levels.

The majority of parents come with our own issues that stem from our past.  By being aware with this issues and really getting to the root of the issue, we will be able to meet the children’s needs easier and without the stress that it causes us.

Why Kim Kardashian Will Never be Good at Family Relationships?

How many of us read all about the Kardashian’s and how to exploit your family to the extent of destruction?  What exactly do they stand for other than making money?  What makes it even scarier is that there is bound to be people out there who are basing their family relationship on the Kardashian.

Although, they attempt to portray themselves as this tight family where their relationships are extremely important but is that an accurate picture?  Hell no and it is very obvious when looking at their rates of divorce.  Nevertheless, I have been slightly impressed that Kim has shielded North from the public eye.

How does is Kanye going to add to this family relationship?  I am left wondering (and shaking my head) because he has a bigger ego as Kim and honestly he is so up himself with his unusual rants (oh poor me I only got two grammy nominations 🙁 ). I guess time will only tell.

Nevertheless, I would love to help Kim and Kanye to put their egos aside and help them to create their own empire with family relationships by really getting them to explore and vidualise what they picture their family relationship to be and take action to create their dreams.

 

Show Yourself Some Love

As mums and dads we all want to be a good parent however we all have our good and bad days.  You might have over reacted to a situation, you may have yelled at your child.  I know being a mum with two children with autism, it can be extremely frustrating when they are loosing emotional control.  None of us are perfect but the important thing to remember is to:

 

Show Yourself Some Love!

It is ok to wrap your arms around yourself and remind yourself that we all have bad days and you are still a great mum and dad.

Is it Normal To Not Have an Overwhelming Sense of Love for Your Child the Instant They are Born?

Argh! The nightmare with hair brushing!

Hands up whose child screams the house down getting their hair brushed on a daily basis?  I hate to know what the neighbours think goes on in the morning at our house.  The amount of screaming that comes out of Grace sounds like I am killing her.  We have a ritual where they have to play the Ipad in any hope of distracting them.  But Grace has now added screaming for daddy to her collection.

Who else has this issue in their house?  Sometimes I loose my patience and I’m hoping that I am not alone.

Someone Who Understands

Wouldn’t it be great to get help from someone who understands?  Someone who understands how hard it is to be a new mum, someone who understands about having postnatal depression and understand how challenging it is to have children with special needs.

If you said a resounding YES to this answer well your in luck here.  I know how hard it is in these three areas as because these are my areas that I have personally live through on a daily basis.  My girls definitely did not give us an easy time as babies, I have lived through postnatal depression and depression and am now enjoying life and I have two children with autism and severe sensory processing disorder.

It can be extremely frustrating to seek help by someone who truly does not understand what you are going through.  But I do and I want to help you.  My family have definitely gone through to the depths of “crap” but we have managed to get through it all.  We are not perfect but we can get through anything as a family.

I am here to help you and your family start a new family beginning and start thriving as a family.  There is nothing you could say to me that would shock me and I just want to help you.

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