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It is Time to Shed the Darkness

DarknessDo you feel burdened with your life?  It is time to shed the darkness.

Darkness is everywhere and it is growing.  We are constantly being bombarded with hate through media outlets, Governments, social media etc etc etc.

This has been highlighted recently when Stuart Kelly took his own life due to the huge amount of abuse and hate mail since his brother was killed in a one punch attack.   He had to endure so much hate towards his family because the NSW Government changed the Lockout Laws in any hope that no one else would be killed.  What absolutely astounded me is that his brother was the one killed by the punch………..not the one who threw it.  Shouldn’t these individuals be sending the letters to the person who committed the offence?

A conversation I participated in on a page in an Autism group brought up the divide that is becoming more apparent within the Autism community.  I reflected on this because it is becoming more and more apparent and it is breaking my heart.  The divide is occurring because people are so judgemental towards each other and individuals feel they have a “right” to be judgemental, rude.  People wear their rudeness like a badge of honour and think it is a fantastic trait.

Each of us needs to desperately look at our interactions to reduce the darkness in our mind, body and spirit.  This heaviness could be heaviness in our moods, stress levels heavy work load.  By replacing this darkness to lightness you will feel more fulfilled with vitality and energy.

To lift the darkness into lightness some great strategies are:

  • Think before you make comments on social media and refrain from judgements, rudeness.
  • Show more compassion and listen to someone.
  • Meditation.
  • Exercise.
  • Eating well.
  • Doing something for you everyday in self care.
  • Listening to music.
  • Spending some quality time with your family members.
  • Take action and stop procrastinating.
  • Being grateful for what you have.
  • Stoping the negative thoughts and labelling them as unhelpful.

 

Living in a Dark Place

I have been living in a dark place for the last few months.

It was getting darker and darker.

I was struggling with self harm thoughts.

I wanted to end it all.

I have been there before and I did not ever want to go back there ever again.  I have been on medication to ease physical pain but they were interacting with my anti depressants.

They made me go back to the dark place.

I did not self harm because I knew that it was the medication was creating this world and I just went into survival mode just to keep my head above the water.

My husband needs me.

My girls need me.

I have to be kind to myself.  It was just the medication.  I tried to keep silent and pretend that I was fine. This is the worst thing I could have done. How can you battle those dark thoughts and feelings by yourself.  YOU CAN’T. It is impossible and one reason why people take their lives.  Those voices (you don’t have any control of them) just get the better of you and you are convinced that you would be better off dead.   I finally opened up to Steve and told him the self harm thoughts were back.  I had someone to help me fight through them. Someone was on my side.

I had done it once and I knew I could do it again.  I got up everyday which is one of the hardest challenges.  It is easy to hide under the doona but then I was letting the depression win.  So I kept as much as a routine that I could just to keep me functioning.  I was moving in life but the dark thoughts kept trying to pull me down.  It was exhausting.

I focused on making sure I was putting nutritious food into my body and not food that feeds the darkness.  No point giving the darkness even more fuel to beat me.  I kept moving which helped to bring some light into my day even if it was just walking.  I coloured in the mindfulness colouring book which is swamping the book shelves.  I also knew that once my Doctor came back from holidays and he took me off the medication all will go back to normal.  I also refereed to my suicide first aid plan that gave me strategies to complete before I self harmed or put a plan into action.  I have 12 steps that I must complete and the first step is call Steve and I do not get much further.  If you are struggling create a 12 step plan to give you a life line.  Believe me it works.

My body is exhausted and I have had the flu this week and I have been made to rest.  I am back into using my essential oils to get rid of the negative thoughts and now I am feeling back at peace.  I got out my Dalai Lama books to help centre myself and I am not surrounding myself with any negativity.

Those thoughts will not win. You have to hold tight and fight.  It is worth it.

 

When Can I Trust My Thoughts Again and Not The Depression?

“You are a bad mum.”

“Your children do not love you.”

“You would be better off dead.”

“No one loves you.”

“You are hopeless.”

Is your mind telling you these statements?  Are they real?  Is it postnatal depression, depression, anxiety, PPD, PPA telling you them?

It is so draining to hear these types of thoughts running through the head 24/7 and no wonder people feel drained and tired.  It is extremely hard to decide which thoughts are real and which ones are not.  When it is dark around you and your struggling to reach the light, you believe these thoughts as real.  You keep thinking how could they not be real.  But how do you decide?

All the statements above are all false.  They are unhelpful thoughts and they should be labelled as unhelpful every time they pop into your head.  Say to yourself:

“No I am not hopeless.”

“No, my children love me.”

“No, I am not a bad mum.”

“No, I do not deserve to be dead.”

You really need to focus on every time you hear a voice saying this to you as it takes time to break these old thoughts.  The more you stop them, the more your brain will start rewiring and the unhelpful thoughts will stop in time.

When I was in my dark world, I had constant thoughts of self harm as a means of escape.  I had to dig deep inside (felt like I had to reach my toes) and every time I heard these voices I stopped them in their tracks.  The more I did it, the more I noticed that they reduced to finally they stopped.  But what I am trying to encourage you to do is realise it can take a good 6 weeks to break the old habit.

If you are sitting there thinking I really need to do this, you do not need to do this alone.  It is not an easy thing to break by yourself but I am here to help you through it.  On the link below I have a 12 week program that focuses solely on YOU.  You could easily make this one of your goals.  I will be there to hold your hand through challenging these thoughts until they no longer exist. You can do this and achieve amazing results.  All you have to do is take that first step.

http://coachingforlifetimechange.com.au/new-family-beginnings-after-postnatal-depression/

 

 

 

All I Feel is Darkness Around Me

When all around you is darkness and you think you can not go on, search for the light which is always there, grab hold of it with both hands and don’t ever let go.

Who Will I Be On The Other Side?

WHO WILL I BE WHEN I GET OVER PND?

Are you asking yourself this question at this very moment?

In the midst of the darkness, you do not remember what you were like before the commencement of the illness.  It just feels like it was so far in the past that you actually felt normal.  You can feel so alone and enclosed in the darkness that you think we will never escape.

When you start to feel slightly better, you do naturally start to wonder who you will be when you feel better and you are no longer surrounded by the dark walls.  You once had a dream of being “the best mum possible” and now you label yourself “a bad mum” for what you have gone through.  Do you still stay this bad mum that you have labelled yourself or do you go back to the old you?

What about dreaming about who you want to be?  Life is about growing as an individual. We move through so many stages in life, why can’t we see this as an opportunity to grow as an individual?

If you really want to grow a better you and live your dreams, I want to work with you.  I want to help you reach the dreams that you have with 100% support.  I understand where you have been and want to be as I have walked the same path.  There is nothing better than talking with someone who have been on the same or similar paths.  I want you to reach your dreams and I promise that you will get there.

If you want my assistance and support, drop me an email info@coachingforlifetimechange.com.au and drop me a line about who you want to be and provide me with some contact so I can call you and look more in depth at creating the new you.  This call will provide you with a clear vision of who you want to be, clearing any blockages that are stopping you and shutting the door on the darkness and get you back into loving life.

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