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Divorce Your Partner!

grief

Divorce your partner seems to be a popular suggestions amongst social media sites.  I am a member of a few social media groups and I am left astounded by people simply suggesting to divorce their partner if they are not on board with Autism.  You rarely if ever hear someone suggest some counselling.  The answer is simply divorce.

It breaks my heart to hear that marriage vows seem so unimportant these days.  Now I am not saying to stay in a marriage if there is violence, abuse but the saddest part is that there are so many posts about partners being unsupportive, not helping, denying there is anything wrong with their child and there is no real question about why is that?

After a child is diagnosed one of the first questions that parents think about is where did the ASD come from?  Most of the research would point to the father.  What help does the husband have to deal with these thoughts?  Not a lot especially if the husband does not talk about his emotions.  Dads also go through the thoughts about what the future hold but if they are constantly working (businesses need to give time off to get to appointments so that they can also be involved).  I know for my husband he felt the extra pressure of working more to help pay for therapy appointments.

There is also the issue of how parents handle emotions in the first place and unless parents receive help with handling their emotions then there is very little chance that these emotions will be resolved for the benefit for the family.

There needs to be more help for dads.  They need support just like mums.

We focus on the family unit throughout all of our programs.  In early 2016, we will be offering emotion coaching as you will be amazed at how strong your connection will become with all members of the family.

All marriages need work, even my marriage needs constant work.  I just wish people would stop suggesting divorce when really no on in these groups know the full picture what is happening within other families.

A Deep Friendship with Partner Leads To Happy Marriages

Do you have a deep friendship with your partner?   Do you know that a deep friendship with partner leads to happy marriages?

After reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PH.D and Nan Silver, I have realised the importance of having a deep friendship with your partner in order for it to lead to a happy marriage.  John describes this friendship ‘as having a mutual respect and enjoyment in each other’s company.  These couples tend to know each other intimately – they are well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams.  They have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the big ways but in little ways day in and day out.

Most marriages or partnerships start off well with a lot of positivity and there would be little thought of the marriage ending in divorce.  However, over time little resentments can build with particular quirks, annoyance etc.  After the birth of a child, the marriage is further tested as the attention goes from the partnership to the child.  Then you add sleep deprivation and hardship into the mix and there is no wonder why so many marriages end after the first few years of a child coming into the family.

Now if you are thinking my goodness my marriage is going to end in divorce.  There is a lot you can do between now and then.  In my Reinvigorate Your Relationship with my Partner we will work together step by step so that we can rebuild the friendship and take you off the divorce statistics.  Believe me my program is so much cheaper than a divorce and it has more value than a divorce can possibly give you.

The question is do you want to reinvigorate your relationship?

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