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Don’t Label Your Child Just Let Them Survive

Don't label your child just let them surviveDon’t label your child just let them survive!  How ridiculous is that!!!!!!!!!!!! Just writing that made me tear up.

Today I saw this on a friend’s Facebook page the following picture and thought I might look at the comments.  I knew I was setting myself up for some angry feelings.

There were individuals who suggested that we all should stop analysing out children, not get them labelled and just let them survive.  I see that as emotion dismissing parenting and picture how many children who have not received enough help.

We should be thankful that our children are not dying (which I am every single day) but let our children survive in their misery.

Their answer was that kids who were “naughty” were belted by their parents, teachers, Principals.  But did anyone ask why it was the same kids receiving this punishment?  They then put them into institutions never to be seen.

But what they failed to comprehend is that it was caring people who looked at all of these individuals and found the reason for their behaviour and found ways to help them.  How is helping our children limiting them?

They believed that all of us should just survive and work and contribute what they could in society.  What they failed to realise that the help that I continually give my children are not going just to let them survive.  They are going to thrive.  They are going to thrive in what job they want to do and they will contribute more than anyone who is just going to survive.

Our children are receiving a lot more help than those sadly did in the previous generations which is really sad.  But getting your child the help will not just let them survive but to let them thrive.

I remember when I had to fight for months to get my children trauma insurance.  They were denying the girls cover because they have Autism.  Believe me they received it double barrel with questions like:

  • Where is the research that ASD children are more prone to cancer?
  • Where is the research that ASD children get sick more than any other child?
  • What is the difference between a girl with ASD and a boy with ASD?

I remember I had the list of what they covered and they did not enjoy me asking for research for each statement.  In the end they were too scared to call me back lol but they all children were labelled severe and ones who got lost etc.  I had to send in my girls reports for them to cover the girls.  They limited my girls and their future but in the end the company started working on changing their policies.

There needs to be more awareness but there needs to be more work done on helping businesses, schools, university etc to help break down the limits that they perceive that everyone can thrive.




What Future Does My Child With Autism Have?

A few clients have asked me this question “what future does my child with autism have?”  You might be reading this and wondering the same question but have never said it out loud.  I know I have asked myself this question especially in the early stages after diagnosis.

Ellen Notbohm in her book “Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew” summoned it up perfectly.  She wrote ‘In the long run – and it is a long run – what you choose to believe about a child’s autism may be the single biggest factor affecting his ultimate outcome.  Consciously or otherwise, you make decisions based on your perspective hundreds of times a day. Losing sight of your whole child behind a label makes your life and his/her more trying.‘ (Page 31).

Every child, no matter if they have autism or not, have their likes and dislikes.  Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and we want to encourage all children to develop their strengths.  When teachers hears that your child has autism, they already start with a picture of what they think your child will be like.  Grace’s teacher was astounded with how well she could read and spell which she was not expecting at all.  When Grace did calisthenics for the first year, we did not predict that in her second year she would be out the front of the group and leading the group in competitions.  Never count your child out from their strengths and where they can go from there.

A label will get your child the assistance they need and if you start early your child can have a bright future.  We just got to look at their strengths and possibilities will open.