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I am Filled With Anger!

No having a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder is not fair and after diagnosis we can feel angry about it.  This is usually the next step after denial.

As a parent’s denial fades, anger arises that his or her child’s condition may not improve significantly.  The emotion of anger could cause the parent to blame the doctor for making the diagnosis, blame your wife or ourselves for doing something “wrong” during the pregnancy.  Some people go through a spiritual crisis and feel that they have caused this to happen because they may not have prayed enough.  People can be angry towards everyone for this new journey which makes it had for all involved to cope.  Sadly some people let the anger control them and they turn to physical means of showing this anger.

The anger will not last and there has to become the time when you need to let the anger go.  It is hard but the more we stay angry the less we are able to function properly.  It will also hinder the relationship with your child.  Do not give up on your child because they need you to help them have a bright future.

If you are reading this and are in this stage of anger and you want to talk to someone who is outside the picture, please email me on as I am more than happy to be that ear.  Any dads who are reading this and are stuck in the place please reach out through email as I am more than happy to listen.


Strategies to Help When You Feel Like a Crap Parent

mother love

We all will have days when we feel like a crap parent. I know I felt like this over the weekend.  I do not think there is any parent out there who would not feel like that from time to time.  But here are some strategies to help when those feelings come along.

1.  Know that this is just a feeling and it will pass.

2.  Put some happy music on and jump around even with the kids.

3.  Do something for YOU even for 5 minutes.  Having a cup of tea can be very soothing.

4.  Have a glass of wine when the children go to bed (or before 🙂 ).

5.  Know that you are doing the best you can and it is not easy.

6.  Call a friend and talk to someone about what you are feeling.

7.  Put a DVD on that is happy.

8.  Find an enjoyable book to read. 

9.  Think about your children and think about all their strengths.

10.  Think back to a happy memory that always makes you smile. 

It is okay and very normal to have crap days. You are not alone!