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Don’t Beat Yourself Up!

One message I have constantly for parent’s is “Don’t beat yourself up!”  Parenting has its ups and downs for everyone. No parent is perfect no matter what they put up on social media.   There will be days where you have it all going perfectly.  There will be other days where everything is going wrong.  Who hasn’t had those days.

I had one of those days the other day.  I was not connecting with the children.  I was not looking at their triggers and focused on their behaviours.  By the end of the day, I just wanted to crawl into bed.  We all have those days.

Don’t beat yourself up!

Principles such as validating feelings first before correcting their behaviours, focusing on the positive while minimizing attention to the negative, and staying calm and collected in the heat of the moment are all what we strive for, not what we can expect all the time.

I have parents who feel guilty, even horrible, when they lose their cool, yell, threaten, or react before thinking.  These moments will happen occasionally.  If your goals are to focus on the positive, understand and validate, set clear boundaries, and minimize emotional responses to negative behaviour, then this is what you need to keep focused on.

Don’t beat yourself up!

Relax, take a deep breath, and pat yourself on the back for what you are doing right. Nevertheless, always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

 

I Want To Make Everything Alright All The Time

Is this thought realistic or unrealistic?

Can we make everything alright all the time?

The answer is simply NO! When I think about the above statement the immediate picture, all I could think about was all the advertising about what being a perfect parent would look like.

There is no one that could possibly say they make things alright every time.  Being a parent is not about making things perfect all the time its all about learning about our own needs and our children’s own needs. That does not come instantly, it comes in time.

Plus there is so much that is external that we can not possibly control but all you can do is do your best.

One on one coaching could be extremely beneficial for those who really want to be the best parent that you want to be.  By focusing on you and your relationships with family memebers, you will be naturally learn to meet the needs of family members and meeting those needs will make the perfect family unit.

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