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How Can We Include Partners in Therapy?

griefAre you both at odds in regards to the behaviour management of your child with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder?


Do you keep thinking to yourself that you wish your partner would come to a therapy session?

I hear this comment a lot within Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder communities, with clients and shhhhh I have heard myself say this as well.  So believe me it is a common feeling amongst families.


I know my partner would love to make it to every appointment but this is not realistic.  However he has to bring in the money to pay for these appointments.  Also as much as his boss is really accommodating, reality is he still needs to be at work.

Having a child with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder can challenge us as parents in regards with behaviour management.  We all come into parenthood with preconceived rules in regards to discipline.  Where do we learn our parenting skills from?  Our parents……….who learnt from their parents………..who learnt it from their parents.

Have you ever thought yourself saying “I will not discipline my children like my parent’s did?”.  It is fairly normal for individuals to think about what kind of relationship you would like to have that you may not have had as a child and what you would never do.  However I am sure we all have heard ourselves sound like our parents.

Nevertheless, when your child is diagnosed with Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder and a lot of other disabilities, all that we thought we knew goes out the window.  We are forced to look at our parenting skills and adapt these to suit their needs.  I know for me that was and can still be a challenge as we are not perfect all the time.

How can we include partners in therapy?

  • See if your partner can go to a therapy appointment every few months to see how things are going.

A few clients have approached their bosses and asked them for a couple of hours, once every three months to go to a therapy appointment and it has been amazing how accommodating as it is only every few months.

  • Video tape the sessions

If your therapist does not mind, video tape the session, only as a means of showing your partner.  Even if you are sitting at the other side of the room, your partner will get the main idea of what is occurring in the session.

  • Take notes

There is nothing stopping you for taking notes that you may be able to share with your partner.  If your partner is not involved at all for their own reasons, maybe just have them there in a spot for them to read or not read.  As they say you can draw a horse to water but you can not make them drink.

  • Have no conflict discussions about behaviours and how to meet them

We want children to be as independent and confident as possible so it is important to talk about what behaviours your child is demonstrating and work out the meaning behind them.  If your child wants more independence we should be encouraging them as this will improve their future outcome.  We all want less emotional eruptions and so we need to make adjustments and be flexible on how we are going to meet their needs.

There are parent’s out there who struggle to change their parenting and it can be extremely challenging on all parts because majority of the time it leads to fights and resentments.  If you need help in this area send me an email on and we can arrange a time so that I can help your family come together.



How Do I Find Help For My Child With Autism?

I remember when Grace was diagnosed with Autism we were put on the path of finding what therapy she needed.  For me I was slightly aware from my experience with autism spectrum disorder.  However, there was numerous nights where I sat crying to Steve about how hard it was not knowing if we were really doing the right thing.  But it wasn’t until I walked into Keilor Park Preschool, where the lovely teachers who were well trained in special needs realised we were struggling with it all, helped me link properly into services.

Amaze Victoria has a wonderful website which is essential for families to look at to help navigate the different types of therapy on TherapyConnect.  I really recommend families with children on the autism spectrum disorder to have a look.