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Is Your Yelling Falling on Deaf Ears?

Is your yelling falling on deaf ears?  I have to admit that I had to realise that all my yelling was simply falling on deaf ears.  I have to share with you that for ages all I felt I was doing was yelling at my children and still nothing changed.

Have you ever been in your child’s school and you hear teachers yelling?  Teachers have a challenging job but when are they also going to realise that children pretty much tune out.

I felt horrible at who I was becoming as this was far from how I dreamed how I would be as a mother.  This was also was not how I wanted my family home to feel emotionally and spiritually and the girls were always on edge wondering if I was going to yell at them.  How could I possibly build a relationship with them if they were scared about how I would react?  I have always said I want the girls to be able to come to me and tell me anything. But how could I do this if they are always worried about my reaction.

I became mindful of my own emotions when I felt the urge to yell at them.  Once I became in touch with my own emotions, I take a deep and remind myself that yelling helps no one and I approach it with a “what’s up?”.  Then I can hear from my girls perspective what is happening and the more that I did that, I saw situations from my girls shoes.  It is amazing what you can learn from stepping into your child’s shoes as problems are easily solved.  If problems are constantly solved, their unwanted behaviours also diminish.

People convince themselves that yelling does not hurt their child because that is what we are lead to believe in conventional wisdom.  Conventional wisdom in behaviour management is passed down from generation to generation and we really do not question it.  But let me be very clear is that constantly yelling at your child does hurt them emotionally and you are destroying your relationship with them.  It also affects your own well being.


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